I tried discussing that with him, he told me if he was to mess up he would want someone to correct him. Its sad when other give you the compliments that you are looking from in one person. We dont even hug or kiss anymore because people have always yelled PDA! (Stupid high schoolers) so now he wont do any of it. I love him however because of his lack of effort Im almost ready to walk away for good. :'(. He starts fights or creates conflict for no reason then blames me. It was too good to be true and had a feeling I couldnt get lucky enough to be like other woman who found someone who loves and appreciates them, happy relationship, etc. Life is too short to waste it being miserable and stressed out and fighting over stupid shit. Are you still in your relationship? His plan to get a better job (he was very cocky and confident a massive promotion would just land on his lap as soon as he graduated like one day someone would email him out of the blue from Linkedin and offer him a CEO job or something) so he has become depressed. I said it would really mean the world to me if he would send me a good morning text like he used to. Should I just never expect to be treated the way he used to treat me? I got furious.He did this pretty often in the past but I used to tell him how I didnt like his sudden occasions of disappearing without a word cause it makes me worried. When he was drinking, he was attentive, affectionate, and fun. Im in the same situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. WebHe gets upset when he sees me giving attention to other guys but goes back to ignoring me when I give him attention. What do you think? Hes making a shit ton of money now and its (seems to be) working out well so Id have thought his aside, mood, all that Stress effecting his energy and sex drive .. Would have gotten better. All relationships are unique. is dealing with the pressure of having other things on their mind, such as an achingly difficult work project or personal and/or familial issues that sap them of the energy to deal with little else. I had a quarantine birthday and got a ton of messages and phone calls from everyone, but from him? Then he texted me to see how I was doing. I just now accidentally found this article and my rather lengthy comment. ive already told him my feelings about this often. He lost his dad, my nana nearly died and now needs constant care then her partner died and now this lockdown. its just do not putting attention at all. Whenever I go anywhere its just me and the kids! This past week, I got strep throat and was miserable, so I didnt do anything, and since I got antibiotics, Ive been feeling better, but Im debating on doing anything to show him how much I do and how little he does. Does your boyfriend still care? I just wish he would care more. surprisely right after I unblocked him he sent me a message saying hi and hows life? We just never did anything like that alone. I bought him a beautiful set of cufflinks from his university for Christmas. He leaves his laundry pile up on the floor, towels, dirty dishes. Im an essential worker so I work fulltime while he sits at home playing video games all day long. Hes lives far from me so our relationship was based off of ft. We would stay up all night on the phone and talk and then he slept during the day but he sometimes would call me. As of now, we have been back together in a relationship for about a year and a half. I stayed in that relationship. The first two years of your relationship were his acting skills at the finest. I saw him once more and he taught me my first trick. I asked him to spend Memorial Day with me shocker he forgot and made other plans. ANGRY ALL THE TIME. High on mine, low on his. We had to fight a lot so I can see his friends pictures. He said he wanted to have a deeper talk about expectations and his four years old son before we can be official. Anyways, I eventually moved in with him and things were good. The life situations just put our relationship to the side. The first year was good, with what I call sparks! He is very sporadic with hugs and holding hands. This is the only problem in our relationship, the lack of effort. It was coming across the needle in the haystack that you placed in a way that someone was bound to find it. I tried talking to him about it and he was very dismissive with just an okay, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3years now but he hasnt prioritized me..his family always comes first, whereas i do the most work, im there for him emotionally, physically financially sometimesbut I always come last on his list he is a good guy and he respects me and all but im jst tired cos he doesnt spend on me.Then i met another guy who will give me his eyeballs as soon as i ask for them but he is very disrespectful and selfish wen it comes to my feelings.. he is always the right one.. if I complain of being ignored till his convenience he jst ignores me some more and comes back to say Im sorry babe i love you and thats it..I really dont know what to do.. please help me. It has still been difficult for me since we spent so much time together. Towards the end of September things exploded. That was on Friday. I dont want to talk about marriage or kids or the future. Then later said someone was making it. And dont get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with him regardless, it just got really boring and frustrating after half a year. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. He did go a bit out of the way for Valentines day but last week our first date night since my bday in Jan didnt go quite as well as hoped and as usual, despite saying well just finish where we left off later, that turned into never. and that is why up to now im still here with him despite the unhappiness. I always yearn for good morning texts, prioritize seeing me during his off days and checking in during the day. I refused to go down his negative crazy road and left the room to get a cup of coffee and he prided himself on victory. Im a modest gal. David & I had a wonderful relationship, but then I noticed a change in him. When i pull back abit, i notice it is when he makes an effort. We were living together but decided to try living apart since we jumped into the relationship. Its to tell someone what I will, and will not, put up with. Whats the point ? In the first year of the relationship it was really good and he made an effort to be with me, and I felt like he really loved me. I know love makes me blind, could anyone tell me what I have been missing in this relationship please? My bday in Jan and our 5 year anniversary/V-tines Day was a sh*t show. So me and my bf have been dating fur about 5 months now. Im 53, he is 51. Yep. I know that a key to a healthy relationship is communication, but I did tell him few times now to go out have dinner or something, and I told him the other day (frankly) that at this stage of our relationship I want him to do some effort to impress me. I dont always have it my way though because hes dealing with personal problems that have stretched for months. In the beginning, they go overboard to make us happy. I feel like he is not making me a priority in his life. When we are together he is so sweet and wonderful. It is too immature an attitude for a 56 year old intelligent man. I tried talking to him and he said I was being to needy. I am not at all sure he would do the same for me. I think that might make him feel better. I came across a guy who seemed familiar but had a different name. And I get it, hes never been through the same things but I expect that. He did it once and that was it. 3: like he hates me so much and it wont be long or difficult for someone he likes better to come along and replace me. Im so upset. Ladies lay back and observe. Soon realizing i wasnt going to come back to where i met him i tried to break it off. He says it just happened because we live in the same house, so it doesnt matter. Just stop allowing that guy to keep thrusting a dagger in your heart. He is so patronizing and cold and arrogant towards me like now he does not need me since he was opened up and exposed to all these new awesome, smart, relatable people. Honestly this lockdown really changed my relationship! He doesnt have any plans in those days and still he can not make an effort to spend that day with me, meanwhile I have 2 birthday parties and was ready to ditch them to spend time with him. This may be too shallow for some but I have never receive a single petal from my boyfriend lol. If I were you Id take a break and keep your heart open for a new partner who is more compatible with you and whos needs match with yours, at least whos match a bit more than he does. Youre not alone my girl xxx, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2yrs now, everything was all good until the beginning of 2019,he started to distance himself from me, one day I received a text message from a strange number asking me if I know my boyfriend and if we are dating, I was calm and honest when I answered the text, I went to whatsapp and checked the number out and I saw the photo, it was a lady texting me, I asked her who she was and she said she was just a friend to my guy and she noticed that lately my guy has been stressed and she thought it was a lady stressing her, thats why she snooped on his phone and got my number, all this time I remained calm, thee following day I decided to go to my boyfriend house without informing him, it was around 10pm, I met with the same lady their, my guy was not around, I got inside the house and the lady went straight to sit at the bed while I was sitting at the chair, I couldnt wait any longer I went home, I couldnt get in touch with the guy on phone, his phone was off, the following day this same lady called me at around 7pm telling me that my boyfriend is sick, I went to his house and I found the lady with my guy sitting on the bed very close, I was still calm I said hi and I sat on the chair, this lady excused herself and left me with my guy, I asked him who was the lady and he told me that his best friend was dating Herr so they are just good friends, we spoke and everything was good, the following day in the morning this lady text me and tells me why I came to break that guys heart, the guy told the lady that I had come to break up with him, that I told him I found another man, I never said anything like that, why was my guy lying? I tried to tell him how rude that was and he didnt understand where I was coming from and proceeded to tell me I was making a big deal about it. You wish your boyfriend was as attentive and loving as he was at the beginning of your relationship. Its been six months now and so far nothing. I realised hes never going to change, no matter how many times Ive brought it up. My boyfriend is a foreigner and a Muslim while I am a Catholic Christian. I met my boyfriend this summer (July) through my bestfriend and I met him through snap (he was 18 and he doesnt go to school and I am a junior in highschool. He gets very quiet and is hard to talk to. I had my final straw this past week with his lack of effort and I broke up With him. I dont know what to do or how to feel.. Im trying to figure out if its his depression thats making him stress to make more money as well as not doing anyrhjng for me or the home we live in, or if he truly doesnt care for me or my feelings and Im just here for the mean time to do things for him? You can do it xoxox, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. we see each other once a week, he invites me to his place at 9pm only to sleep together. I dont know what to do. But when it comes to his business he always asks for my help and Im always putting things aside to help him. No calling. The effort went after a few months to me doing it all. However I have had major trust issues since I was young and still find it hard to trust him in certain situations. Not material things, but being romantic on special occasions. Maybe he doesnt want to look like a fool. Just know, that you DO deserve love in this relationship. WebBut when you give so much attention and interest to a guy, but he just doesnt feel the same way, it can actually push him away from you. I would be the one driving to go see him, but I still over looked it and gave him benefit of doubt. I couldnt take the iPad with me if i snuck out but i did tell him to meet me at my gate at midnight. Hot and cold. Haha. He also doesnt seem as interested in what I have to say anymore. My boyfriend recently broke up with me. Do not sound attacking or desperate. He nolonger would make as much effort, like call or text to check on me. Your Aries guy might not be texting you back because he doesnt enjoy small talk or having long conversations over text. Girl please, stop wading knee deep in his shit! I am literally in the exact same position. But for about two of those months, weve been in a long distance relationship due to him being relocated for work and weve only really seen each other about two or three times irl. We have been talking for almost a month. Do I move the goal post so he can succeed? He always makes his schedules according to his friends schedules and if I wanna spend any time with him I have to change my schedules. He had PTSD, bi polar disorder and anxiety. BUT both have to put in the work and if its not happening the work then its not happening and we are settling. The last time I told him about him not making me a priority, he said felt he wasnt good enough for me. I had an awful night at work as a nursing assistant with 18 patients who were ungrateful and nurses who treated me like crap after doing everything for everyone around me. Hes very sweet and affectionate, so I dont believe its due to him not liking me anymore, but it really confuses me and stresses me out. I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 months now. I really i am lost and dont know what to do, love only gets old if he allows it, I have been trying to do sweet things for him aswell by making him a nice meal and texting him good morning and just checking up on him but I guess he seems rather bored. First I asked him if we could level up our relationship through meeting his and my family. At first, he was working, seeing his daughter, making me coffee in the morning, starting my car for me, doing dishes, and laundry and now ten months in, he lost his job, and I have no idea if hes looking for a job. When he just cuts me off or just blindly follows what his mum says which is most of the time unreasonable it just makes me feel like he doesnt care too much about me, like he isnt willing to fight for me. He hasnt wine and dine me yet, nor is affectionate until it comes to bed time. How much time should I spent apart from him and not talking to him? But, he still seems emotionally unavailable in that he doesnt know how to express his feelings for me, or reassure me. He used to be very motivated and neat. I know how hard it is to let go, but I think you have to. Need. WebHe came up to me and brought me free drinks again. Hi, I have a very similar situation to yours. Always cussed them out and called them names, and he works a whole day.. we are now behind on bills , our electric is over 300$ , our wifi is 170+$, we have another wifi bill from another company thats 200+$, and hes had multiple concussions and a broken hip from hockey a long time ago.. Hes become so inward that I have to question him daily and it hurts.. I just dont feel like he loves me , why am I with him & what is he not getting ? So my boyfriend and I been dating a little over a year now and I feel like with him its just a chore to hang out with me. Being that were sophomore and junior now, we dont have any classes together. When you feel as though your partner isn't giving you the attention you deserve, it can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, and hurtful. I just dont feel like a priority any more. What did you end up doing ? I bought him a journal for prompting thoughts of positivity and gratitude, He acted appreciative and was OK to do the morning and evening prompts. I asked about the plan we made and he didnt answer he started to be mean to me and not talk and then he hung up on me after saying he wasnt gonna go to hoco with me or prom and that he didnt love me. Letting Go of Someone You Loveisnt about getting over it. Letting go doesnt mean forgetting, pretending you didnt lose an important relationship, or guarding your heart so you dont get hurt again. He said he was seeking for personal growth and happiness. Let him go! Dont turn a blind eye on things that are sign showing and you are not happy for them. Just torn and dont know what to do. but he never ever ever takes any pictures of me to show me off. Part of me struggles with feeling like this relationship is way way past it expiration date and needs to be taken out back and put out of its misery but at the same time and I just struggling with what is a natural and normal transition into a long-term relationship? You are right, hes very self centered and if he has to have you around, you also have to center around him. So anyways I snuck out again and yeahme and him hung outit was a special moment for me. He bought her a Mothers Day card. Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years and recently he has started to change. This quarantine also suddenly ruined my relationship. He rarely responds to texts throughout the day and he never texts me first. ? line and starts listing all the nice things he did recently. Within the past 2 years. But he laughed at me. I thinking breaking up with him is definitely a stretch, but Im tired of begging my boyfriend for some reasonable attention. He has joint custody of his 17 yr old daughter and about 2 months ago he found out that her stepdad had been engaging in sexual activity with her. ?pretty much hurts and also my first. I am in q very similar situation. I am an emotional person and I tend to cry. Things are getting better as we learn about his condition and learn the tools to manage conflicts between us. His attitude stinks toohe laughs in my face when I get upset by this. So accept that it will be hard, cry about it for a week or two and try to move on with your life and realize that you deserved so much better then that pos. I know its a tough pill to swallow, but in time you will heal. Which was Im looking so bad I dont want neighbours to see me like this. And he is never sorry because he can justify it no matter how stupid. Also dont listen to a guys words only watch their actions. Best to all! Is Your Boyfriends Mother Ruining Your Relationship? In the second year of the relationship we were going out a lot to bars and clubs, and he began to drink a lot, and would become very aggressive with me, and started to treat me bad. I love my boyfriend very much but he is so difficult to understand in the morning you will text with much love and in the evening he will tell you I dont know how to love, you deserve someone better who can give you money among others . Hi Angela, Well Im no expert with relationships. He is failing to realize that I am being affected too. I miss him and who he use to be,at the same time am preparing myself for the worst! Hes too shy to talk to you directly. You may have to loosen your attachment and allow your boyfriend to withdraw or even leave. Yet there it is, still on since god knows when he took her out. He said he was planning on proposing that year. forgive me for my wrong grammars im a filipina and im not that good in expressing myself in english. But Im starting to realize my own self worth. He has made me grow in ways Ive never imagined. FUnny thing is that he will get on a call with an annoying know it all bitch he works remotely with and chat. Im a very physical touch/ Quality time person. He works a lot sometimes so I understand he is tired, but he always wants me to come over his house. Am I expecting too much from him? I love my boyfriend so much, weve been together for a year now. I am really sad about it, because I know we love each other, but this relationship as it is doesnt satisfy me. Ask them, I feel like youre ignoring me. i want to try to talk to him about it since we never argued or anything but ive been feeling this way for quite a while and i dont want to just break up with him like that. You have to be willing to become selfless. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. Is Your Boyfriend's Mother Ruining Your Relationship? Also i didnt know if i could put this but yes I did give myself to him and it was my first time part of me regrets it and part of me doesnt but I promise it was legal but yeah. Ive been in same situation. He should be making an effort to see u, call u , and text you throughout the day. My boyfriend had a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce. He was very affectionate and gentle towards me and would make it a point to call me every day, the first maybe 2-3 months of our relationship. Im planning to attend grad school this coming August and I havent manage to get all my stuff in yet because Im busy with my kiddos, house chores and helping him with work. all in all, i just feel underappreciated, mistreated and im angry and resentful towards him all the time. Lastly, he is obsessed with social media. 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