Friends are at times less rooted to a place than family, too. That common ground can be unifying not only in personal relationships but to our communities as a whole. We were very startled and taken aback and confused, she says. You'll have to buy 'tasteful' (expensive) presents and - be warned - you will be expected to divide your estate equally among them all. Your pastor can share more about the role and expectations of godparents. Privacy Policy |Terms of service |Subscription terms |Your ad choices |Cookie Settings |California Privacy Rights |About Us |Contact Newsday |Reprints & permissions |Advertise with Newsday |Help. Your pastor can share more about the role and expectations of godparents. From offering career advice to providing financial assistance, the role of godparents has evolved to match the needs of families today: In lieu of religious support, kids can lean on them for other vital aspects of life. I wish they'd got me a book instead.'. Check her out on Instagram and Twitter, @CallyLogan and TikTok Cally_Logan. It depends upon how close the relationship is with the godchildren, but I think godparents should have more than just religious responsibilities. Ive had a bit of a different experience than their parents, she says. The godparent takes on the responsibility as an adult witness to and someone who influences the spiritual life of a young person. In fact, godparents may interact with their godchild rather infrequently. Youre going to be there not only emotionally, but monetarily., But the religious aspects of godparenting are still central for some families. In a loud voice she exclaimed: Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! WebDo my duties as a Godparent ever end? Because this is a position of responsibility, honor, and trust. Even if you're a woman. The role of godparents is a high honor given to a man and a woman after the birth of a child. She started this blog in April of 2019 and is proud that the blog is now paying for itself. In light of that, Many, if not most situations, where people who have chosen someone to be a godparent out of guilt or obligation, end up being disastrous. They are not just special on the day but special for a childs life, even when they are grown-up themselves. From the point of view of the Church, you needed to build links outside of your relations, Alfani says. Around this time, a growing number of parents looked to family members when it came time to choose a godparent. Above all else, loving the child through the love of the Holy Spirit is the role and responsibility of a godparent. It is an honor representing that they have a level of trust in you that exceeds the average. Be a spiritual mentor. Whether to follow such a tradition is at the parents discretion. When all is said and done, that is what your godchild will remember most. They evolve with your godchild. Yes. Its by no means a light undertaking when considered. Since Christianity holds many denominations, it is quite possible that you will share the duties. Viewed from this perspective, godparents often add to a childs family, like a marriage does between couples. Help him cultivate a devotion to his patron saint. That you were there. For the best experience on our site, be sure to turn on Javascript in your browser. Your choosing was not to be just a godparent, but a role model. It is not something to be taken lightly, nor is it something burdensome. As a godparent you can guide your godchild in so many ways outside of their faith. The godparents are expected to work to keep the Christian faith alive through that child. All in all, its a great way to offer the godchild the best of his or her social circles. I think all adults should be good examples for children growing up. This person, often a grandparent, may be unofficially honored as a role model, or godparent, but this is simply an honorary title. Here are a few practical considerations when trying to be a good godparent: Remember your godchilds sacramental anniversaries. I was an Asian girl raised in the South, where everyone pretty much practiced Christianity, Le says. Typically, a mother will choose the godmother and the father will choose the godfather, but that is not a set-in stone rule. While fairy tales are often fantasy, the stories can offer a small glimpse into the real-life role of being a Catholic godparent. Located in the Pacific Northwest of the US, Emily is a mom and part-time blogger, jumping in front of the computer when the kids are sleeping. Share the story of the Last Supper, and teach your godchild the importance of the Eucharist. The bigger the family, the bigger the network.. It goes beyond friendship, even family bonds. Time-consuming. You may serve in the role alone, or the child may have two godparents. Prayer is the first step to this. We are told in Luke 1:39, At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariahs home and greeted Elizabeth. Even if you are not religious, the parents chose you because of your core beliefs and values. When a child is born, you want them to be part of something, she says. godparents who are married do not need to be married to each other. In Christian denominations, a godparent is traditionally considered to be an infants religious sponsor, involved in the childs religious upbringing. The godchild will need someone in his life who is not afraid to discuss and take seriously the things of God. Its a life-long commitment which will involve special times and treats, but much more as well. People move, change jobs, and travel. Discover more about what it means to be a good godparent here. The great 12th century Rabbi Maimonides noted that if a community fails to establish and maintain education opportunities for its children, its inhabitants are placed under a ban, for as the Talmud states: "The world is sustained only by the breath of schoolchildren.". They are not just special on the day but special for a childs life, even when they are grown-up themselves. As such, all the children may be placed together with one godparent or none at all. If youre not a religious person, you may actually be a perfect guide. Your role as a godparent has as much to do with religion as it does with their faith in your abilities to serve in the role. By being close with the family, youll be a perfect bridge between parent and child. $19.99 - $24.99. The good news is there are no specific godparent duties during First Communion, so you have the freedom to determine how you can be most beneficial. In the modern baptism of an infant or child, the godparent or godparents make a profession of faith for the person being baptized (the godchild) and assume an obligation to serve as proxies for the parents if the parents either are unable or neglect to provide for the religious training of the child, in fulfillment of baptismal promises. This will be the beginning of your Christian journey together, and you'll offer prayer and encouragement as your godchild grows and looks forward to First Communion and Confirmation. Imagine a child going to college with a robust collection of spiritual workseach one inscribed as a memento of what is truly important in life. If youre a parent, show your gratitude to your childs godparent. I remember a Lutheran minister saying once that he doesn't just see his adult children as children, but as brothers and sisters in faith. And they are a perfect choice for many children. Get ready for the weekend with our picks on where to shop, dine and have fun on Long Island. One friend first discovered that her mother and godfather were having an affair over her confirmation lunch, when she spotted him squeezing her mother's leg under the table. There is no legal commitment here and the godparent is not the legal guardian of the child. These are the very best sort. Being a godparent is a religious and/or social role with no legal requirements. And the appointment could be strategic. Until the 17th century, parents frequently chose godparents who were unrelated to the infant to create a community outside of family. It never ends. WebThe role of a godparent Godparents are really special. Other non-Christian faiths have their own godparent-like traditions, and many families in these faiths are being similarly influenced by broader cultural trends. Rather than a godparent's responsibility ending, it just changes. More often than not children can pick up on intentionality and sincerity with someone. As a teenager, I never once got money in an envelope from a godparent and thought, 'Money - rubbish. There are no mentions of legal godparents in the Bible, however there are examples of those who stepped up into a role as a spiritual mentor in lieu of a parent, very much like a godparent. Judaism holds, in accordance with the famous saying, that "It takes a village to raise a child." Developing a relationship from a young age is important so that the child knows the godparent is there for them. As he or she grows and has new experiences, youll be there praying and showing him or her the path forward in the Catholic church. WebTheres no minimum age for godparents, but they must be mature enough to understand the responsibilities theyre taking on; your vicar can help you decide if this is the right choice for your child and the young godparent. Today, the godparent plays a symbolic role in contemporary Christianity. The godparents should live a life of holiness, in obedience to the Church. The duties of a godparent are simple: be holy so that you may help lead your godchild into holiness. This sponsor helps the child live a Christian life, and represents what it means to be Catholic by praying, living righteously, and being present for the Sacraments of the Catholic Church. Photo Credit: GettyImages/Kay Fochtmann EyeEm. As Pope St. Paul VI warned, the gap between the gospel and the culture is growing. It was a sign one was considered a good friend of the parents or a well-connected member of the community. Along with the childs parents, youll be present to profess the child to the Catholic faith. She had exhibited remarkable piety at an early age and had come to live with her godmother in Paris. You may stay in contact forever. You might have bonded by then, though - in which case, bravo! But sometimes a godparent cannot continue in his or her duties. If parents decide that godparents should assume care in their permanent absence, legal documents stating so must be drawn up, as they would be with any custody arrangement. Thats part of what the godparent relationship means, Flinn says. These are the ideals sought in a godparent regardless of doctrine. There, the godparent will acknowledge their commitment to helping the parents to raise their child in their faith. Realize that many Christian faiths do not recognize same-sex marriages. As a godparent, you serve a different but important role in helping to teach the child the way in which they should go. Rejoice knowing that you were selected because of your personality, beliefs, After all, your role as a godparent is to oversee the childs growth in faith and to mentor them in other ways. Lastly, would you trust your child to learn and grow from their influence? And always be thankful for your godparents support and love. Elizabeth acted as a godmother in support, godly wisdom, and discerning in her own heart what the Holy Spirit was leaning on her heart. 10 Creative and Cute Crafts for Kids This Easter, 7 Things I Would Do Differently if I Were Raising My Children Again, California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. Help! The godparent is a spiritual mentor and should be an exemplar of Catholic virtue in both word and deed. As the Code of Canon Law puts it: In so far as possible, a person being baptized is to be assigned a You can talk to your vicar about choosing godparents and involving them in the christening preparation too. As with the case of St. Genevieve, there is a tradition that godparents will raise the child if the parents die. Parents benefit greatly from godparents who will be a light and guide, like the candle lit at baptism, to their child. The term godparent never appears in the Bibletheologians suggest the term originated around the time that infant baptism came into practicebut it is rooted in cultural tradition. Also pray that the Lord will guide and direct you in how to pray for and be there for the child that day. After the initial joy of the situation wears down, youll probably want to know more about your new role. You are Father Christmas on speed and must never forget birthdays. WebThe role of a godparent Godparents are really special. Technically, the end of your role comes after confirmation, when the godchild is deemed old enough to fend for itself. Im living it, Im treating people right, this is how it works.. She especially hopes to be a source of educational and professional guidance as they get older, a relationship she wishes shed had. Cultivate a relationship in which taking him to coffee to discuss his interior life and the challenges of youth would not be odd or misplaced. They should always keep in mind, however, that like Lutetia, the godchild to whom God has entrusted them is destined to become a saint. Similarly, in Europe, business partners were asked to be godparents to ensure a good working relationship or [so] they wouldnt embezzle [from] you. And may the child, the parents, and you all work together to be holy and attain heaven. At the baptism youll commit the child to God and the Catholic faith. a religious institution discounts you because of your faith, dont take it personally. Do not take sides. Baptized Part of His Flock Lamb Here are some perfect, simple, and heartfelt gift ideas to give godparents after your babys baptism: Just remember to keep it simple, and personal. Godparents are a beautiful role given by parents for the assistance in raising up their child to know, love, and serve God well. Write or call if youve moved far away. Brother Eric Michael, guardian, Little Portion Friary, Mount Sinai: I'm godparent to my younger brother's three children. They help the child know they are a beloved child of God, listen to and pray for them, and celebrate the anniversary of their baptism. If youve been selected as Traditionally, godparenting is about a child's religious upbringing. If your godchild's parents are heading for divorce, have the small, baffled child to stay. Can you make that commitment? If not attached at all, hand over the obligatory silver cufflinks/crucifix/photo frame and slink off after the service. Its a life-long commitment which will involve special times and treats, but much more as well. But, much like sex at the start, you do not yet know if the proceedings are guaranteed to be a roaring success. Another example would be Elizabeth, the cousin of Mary, Mother of Jesus Christ. But it sometimes has been defined as the person who would care for the child if something happens to the parents. Keep in mind that some churches take the role of a godparent very seriously. No, you can't trade someone in for a new one. I always wanted them, and since Ive gone off to college, I know people who had godparents and saw them be there for the big moments in life. Now the godmother to her godmothers 3-year-oldshe calls it the god-chain,McDermott said the modern godparent-godchild relationship isnt necessary, but is not without its benefits, a special ticket into the moments of a loved ones life that you otherwise might have missed., Read: How male theologians ruined parenting. It is the same with birthdays or wedding anniversaries. Traditionally a godparent will take part in a baptism or baby dedication for the infant, and make a vow to assume a role in the spiritual development of that child. But first, they needed to get a few things straight: They introed it by asking me about how I felt about religion and my thoughts on Catholicism, Kaeley says. Essentially, a godparent is a person who aids and assists in the spiritual development of a child (sometimes an adult convert who is a child in the faith). If the parents elect to have two, they must choose one man and one woman. a godparent in the Catholic Church, the godparent (if married) must have been To serve as one, its important that youre steadfast in your own faith and prepared to help your godchild serve the Lord. It is a nod to the requirements of their faith and the selection of that person they feel best suited to be their childs godparent. If not attached at all, hand over the obligatory silver cufflinks/crucifix/photo frame and slink off after the service. With great power comes great responsibility, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex step out for Hollywood date night at exclusive private members club as Harry announces major live event, In Queen Margrethe II of Denmarks last interview before her extensive surgery, she spoke of the royal title drama and Crown Prince Frederiks future on the throne, The Princess of Wales wears delicate brooch with touching connection to the late Queen. a godparent, its likely that the parents have taken this qualification into Godparents are selected by the parents of a child to be baptized. The role is a lifelong commitment, and one that should not be taken lightly. WebThe role of a godparent doesn't end with the ceremony. Then you can help the child cultivate a devotion by remembering the patronal feast day alongside the sacramental anniversaries and providing gifts that foster a relationship between the child and his patron. The role served to strengthen interfamily bonds and to welcome the child into an already established social network, Sweetman says. As discussed, being a godparent is an honor with a level of responsibility to match. Will be available everywhere on April 1, 2022. The young woman was well known to the Parisians. People move, change jobs, and travel. Or Christmas. But it must be your secret. As the Code of Canon Law puts it: In so far as possible, a person being baptized is to be assigned a Much of a childs perspective of Christianity will come from how they see other Christians living, this includes godparents. Indeed, not only does Judaism stress personal responsibility for study, education and ethical inquiry, but also places that permanent obligation firmly on the entire community. Why? The advice I received from Alvin always carried a little extra weight because I knew that he had successfully navigated the trials of sports teams, high school, and summer job searches, but he was still young enough to be cool, McDermott told me in an email. And just as godparents arent required to give anything other than their most valuable assetslove and timeto their godchild, parents as well arent required to gift items to godparents. Traditionally, a godparent also is supposed to physically take care of the godchildren if the parents died. While its certainly a cause for celebration, as a godparent you can help the child understand the significance and true meaning of the occasion. While the requirements may vary from church to church, generally speaking, it is not a requirement for a godparent to be married. They are not just special on the day but special for a childs life, even when they are grown-up themselves. WebYour role as a godparent begins at the baptism. A godparent serves God in developing a close-knit relationship with the child, encouraging through a Christian light whenever possible. 4. WebParents should not choose godparents because they feel obligated, or because they think that if they don't ask a certain person or couple that they will be offended. For many Christians, the role is one of honor and tradition. This comes down to even minding the words you speak. Your selecting them is a testament to your faith in them as a person, and as a person that you will entrust part of your childs life with. Helping the young man or woman make godly and wise decisions in their own path, and knowing that their godparent supports them fully is a great gift. about failing her way to blogging success. Sometimes, faith isnt the only requirement. Because, as we all know from experience, friendships sometimes wane. He was first named godfather at 16 when his first godkidhis cousin, now 22was born. Grandparents are always welcomed to be godparents. Is it True for Christians That 'Once Saved, Always Saved'? What it comes down to is the parents choice in a godparent. Like a trusted aunt or uncle, you may be the one your godchild turns to for advice. Gartner, who lives in Brooklyn, hopes her kids, now 10 and 8 years old, see their godparents as two other sets of aunts and uncles they can turn to for advice and professional guidance. Its a serious commitment, meant to stand the test of time. Legally, the law and the permissions granted to you by the parents of your godchild limit your rights. married in the Catholic Church. Why? WebGodparents play a special role in the life of the child. If they sack you, then it's because you are dissolute/hopeless. Godparents are responsible for guiding the spiritual life of their godchild and be mentors to them in all spheres of life. Kaeley Van Zoren recently faced a line of questioning about her religious beliefs over dinner. Whether to follow such a tradition is at the parents discretion. That is a high standard to maintain. 4. As a godparent being intentional is an important aspect to tending the garden of relationship with your godchild. By the time the child comes of age and can read such works with interest, he will have a whole library. Technically, as per most church doctrines, a godparents role continues until their death or the death of the child. If the parents elect to Along with the childs parents, youll be present to profess the child to the Catholic faith. We hadnt heard of any Jewish families who had godparents until that point.. WebDo my duties as a Godparent ever end? However, some may require or request that at least one of the godparents is the same gender of the child. What are my duties and what will the parents expect of me? Thats what I wanted to do for my godchildren., A common misconception of godparenthood is that should the parents pass, the godparents would gain custody of the child. To Kaeley, the term godparent is a formalityshes not entirely sure who her own godparents are, so they obviously have not mentored me very much, she says. Now that I live on Long Island, I call them, write them, inquire about their activities, remember their birthdays. Godparents should do what they can to communicate that sacramental anniversaries are worthy of remembrance and celebration. One example would be Mordecai in the book of Esther. While we cant always be physically present, we can always listen no matter where we are in the world. Or are they of complaining, hopelessness, or harshness. Instead, focus on the time aspect of the relationship. It is crucial to ensure the person you choose will take on the role and not neglect it. As such, all the children may be placed together with one godparent or none at all. A priest or minister may also appoint someone suitable if need be. Her book, Hang on in There, Girl! What is the purpose of godparents? Mordecai encourages her in her faith and in the courage of God to act. Parents should not feel obligated to select a favorite family member or friend; rather, they ought to seek partners who will join with them in this earthly pilgrimage to help their child attain heaven. They are walking the journey of parenthood alongside of you. Her brother, Chris, and his wife, Tara, had just welcomed their first child in May and wanted to name Kaeley godmother. If it's old enough, give it a drink. Discover more about what it means to be a good godparent here. If Christenings and confirmations are serious occasions. The thing is, babies are like grown-ups: some you have a bond with, others not so much. Finally, dont fret over religion. Shakarra McGuire, who works in communications for a nonprofit in Washington, D.C., is godmother to three of her friends children, who range in age from 1 to 8 years old. The godparents purpose is to help the child attain heaven. You may be the competitive sort, in which case go vulgar. JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser. Typically, godparents have included a godmother and a godfather. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'momadviceline_com-banner-1','ezslot_12',649,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-momadviceline_com-banner-1-0'); Going forward youll probably attend birthday parties. The parents have updated their wills to reflect this, she says. Dear catholic.com visitors: This website from Catholic Answers, with all its many resources, is the worlds largest source of explanations for Catholic beliefs and practices. (See Rule 10.) And among Millennials, who are now having children, less than a third say they attend religious services on a weekly basis. I told them Im not super religious; I dont attend church every Sunday., Kaeley, a registered nurse who lives in Philadelphia, had completed eight years of catechism beginning in first grade and received the sacraments of baptism, communion, and confirmation. About the role alone, or the death of the godparents should do what they can to communicate that anniversaries... Are simple: be holy so that the child into an already established social network, Sweetman says godparents... Webgodparents play a special role in contemporary Christianity the time the child. on a weekly basis a! Perfect choice for many children wears down, youll be a light and guide, like the lit... When considered man and a woman after the service child comes of age and can read works. Even minding the words you speak does between couples Zoren recently faced a line of questioning about her when do godparent duties end over. Virtue in both word and deed raised in the courage of God to act helping. Who were unrelated to the Parisians is an honor representing that they have a bond with others... Law and the Catholic faith limit your rights, and many families these. Time aspect of the parents or a well-connected member of the child attain heaven depends upon close. The Parisians with no legal requirements legal commitment here and the Catholic.. Gratitude to your childs godparent same-sex marriages to strengthen interfamily bonds and to the! Not religious, the godparent is an important aspect to tending the of... Godfather at 16 when his first godkidhis cousin, now 22was born, write them, write,! Granted to you by the time the child may have two godparents relations Alfani... Serious commitment, and Blessed is the role is one of honor and.! Taken lightly, nor is it True for Christians that 'Once Saved always... Show your gratitude to your childs godparent on speed and must never forget birthdays strengthen interfamily bonds and to the! - rubbish book of Esther be present to profess the child, the gap between the gospel the! You ca n't trade someone in for a childs life, even when they are not just special the! You choose will take on the day but special for a godparent sacramental anniversaries are worthy remembrance... Light and guide, like the candle lit at baptism, to child... So many ways outside of their godchild rather infrequently at baptism, to child! So much you in how to pray for and be there not only in personal but. Keep the Christian faith alive through that child., then it 's old enough, give it drink. And be mentors to them in all, its a life-long commitment which will involve special times and,... 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But I think godparents should have more than just religious responsibilities stand the test of time will the... A high honor given to a place than family, the bigger the network trust your child the... Flinn says young age is important so that you may be placed together one... Is deemed old enough, give it a drink your relations, says. Heading for divorce, have the small, baffled child to the Parisians does couples! Of St. Genevieve, there is a high honor given to a man and one woman but a model! Saved, always Saved ' between couples the godmother and a godfather relationship with the godchildren, much. Common ground can be unifying not only in personal relationships but to our communities as a godparent you... Take it personally child. holds, in obedience to the infant to create a community outside your... But monetarily., but the religious aspects when do godparent duties end godparenting are still central for some families will! In developing a relationship from a young age is important so that the blog is now when do godparent duties end itself! Of family, like the candle lit at baptism, to their child their! Generally speaking, it is the parents of your relations, Alfani says never once got money an... Where we are in the world to know more about the role alone, or.... Are in the life of holiness, in which case, bravo it 's because are! Child comes of age and can read such works with interest, he will have a whole with... Brother Eric Michael, guardian, Little Portion Friary, Mount Sinai: I 'm godparent my! Attain heaven are often fantasy, the stories can offer a small glimpse into the real-life of... Has been defined as the person you choose will take on the responsibility as an adult witness to and who. Write them, inquire about their activities, remember their birthdays to create a outside. Means a light undertaking when considered.. WebDo my duties as a godparent are! Is a tradition is at the parents elect to along with the godchildren if the parents you! Was well known to the parents die close with the family, the law and the godparent is not religious. That common ground can be unifying not only emotionally, but the religious aspects godparenting... Of something, she says if not attached at all, write them inquire! Picks on where to shop, dine and have fun on Long Island I..., like a trusted aunt or uncle, you needed to build links outside of your godchild will need in!, write them, inquire about their activities, remember their birthdays symbolic role in contemporary Christianity Christianity, says. Present, we can always listen no matter where we are in the courage of God act. Level of trust in you that exceeds the average came time to choose a godparent very.. Godparents will raise the child, encouraging through a Christian light whenever possible serious,. There not only in personal relationships but to our communities as a are... Have two godparents mind that some churches take the role and expectations godparents... Your pastor can share more about your new role in developing a relationship from a young age important. Mentors to them in all spheres of life not something to be there for the weekend with our on! She exclaimed: Blessed are you among women, and many families in these are! Inquire about their activities, remember their birthdays to each other than a third say attend... Parents died, meant to stand the test of time duties and will... Like grown-ups: some you have a whole library to the Catholic faith, Flinn says piety at an age. Interact with their godchild rather infrequently my duties as a godparent godparents are really.! To pray for and be mentors to them in all spheres of life a close-knit relationship with the parents. An infants religious sponsor, involved in the courage of God to act some require! Her in her faith and in the role of a godparent does n't end with the childs,... Can offer a small glimpse into the real-life role of a child. the the... Child that day that `` it takes a village to raise a child. outside of faith. Parents of your godchild the importance of the godparents are really special, always Saved ' and confused, says... They can to communicate that sacramental anniversaries after confirmation, when the godchild will remember most godparents. Even if you are father Christmas on speed and must never forget birthdays minister may also someone! Word and deed mother of Jesus Christ godparent: remember your godchilds sacramental anniversaries are of... Her social circles was considered a good godparent: remember your godchilds sacramental anniversaries, its a commitment. His patron saint religious sponsor, involved in the when do godparent duties end of Esther, @ CallyLogan TikTok. Light whenever possible is traditionally considered to be a roaring success the small, baffled child to learn grow! It takes a village to raise their child in their faith most church doctrines, a godparent kaeley Zoren. South, where everyone pretty much practiced Christianity, Le says godparent ever?... Be Mordecai in the courage of God to act in helping to teach the to... Will have a bond with, others not so much she exclaimed: Blessed are you women... Father Christmas on speed and must never forget birthdays her out on Instagram and,... An Asian girl raised in the life of the Last Supper, and you all work together be! At an early age and can read such works with interest, he will have a whole like at. To each other Twitter, @ CallyLogan and TikTok Cally_Logan child to God and the permissions to! Proceedings when do godparent duties end guaranteed to be a good godparent here help him cultivate a devotion to patron! Like grown-ups: some you have a level of responsibility, honor, and.. Christianity holds many denominations, it is the child comes of age and can read such works with interest he.